Judy Blume couldn’t make this up
Are you there God? Its me, Jacqueline.
We need to talk. I thought we had an understanding? I suck it up and train, you bless me with your support and give me that ‘Umph’ when I need it. What happened today? I specifically asked you for the one-finger-push on my run this morning since my legs felt like they were being sucked into the bed by Freddy Krueger, but the push never came! And it was a cruel joke to have that man running behind me when you knew I had beans for dinner last night! I tried to let it go soft & quietly, but it only came out a big SQUAWK (and then a bunch of put-puts)! You could have at least given him the push. And I question whether you are a woman because NO woman would inflict the cruelty of a woman’s monthly cleansing on her run! Thank goodness I was wearing black pants! Dare I ask you God? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! And to top it all off because you weren’t laughing hard enough, you decided that it’d be fun to cleanse the earth as well with a big fat rain shower…on my run!!!
I’m not happy with you today. Please don’t try to talk to me because I don’t want to hear it. I know you’re busy/stressed with wars, the oil crisis, world hunger, etc, but please get your kicks from some place else next time. I am officially giving you the silent treatment as of right NOW.
Jacqueline
photo: Barnaby
Jun 04, 2008
Funny AND shoutout to the great J-Blume?
Love.
MizFit
Jun 04, 2008
Oh my goodness Jacqueline!! You crack me UP girl! So sorry to hear about your ‘bad run’ ! LOL
Jun 04, 2008
Hey, at least you didn’t have to POOP in the bushes!
Jun 04, 2008
Picturing you sticking out tongue and giving a raspberry towards the sky….LOL
Jun 04, 2008
and followed by put puts.. I’M SO DONE hahahaaa
Hilarious J.. I needed that pick me up!
Jun 04, 2008
LOL………………Getting older does have at least one benefit………………:)
Jun 04, 2008
You’re adorable. Hopefully you’ll have better luck on your next run!
Jun 04, 2008
Jacqs darlin, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while! And honey you sure have me laughin now. In fact, I laughed so hard that I had to share this entire post with my readers! You honey, are hysterical! I loved it. I loved…it! So babycakes…here’s a high five to you for a fabulously girlie post and for makin me bust a gut! I am officially adding your pleasant site to my Juicy Blog list. You’re THAT good!
Whew…I am still laughin!
Juicy Jenn
Jun 04, 2008
so happy my stank ass made you all laugh
Jun 04, 2008
OK, you win…you had a worse run than me this morning!
Jun 05, 2008
I just KNEW there was a reason God made me sedentary…..the couch doesn’t give a crap….hehehehehehehehehehe
Jun 05, 2008
LOL this is so freaking hilarious and a blatant reminder why I hate running.
Jun 05, 2008
Love it! You make me crack up but with such a great relationship. Girlie, God is listening and I love how you give it up to HIm!! Keep going-hey we Are human, even though we like to be superwoman! You’re so real and I love it!
Jun 05, 2008
“And I question whether you are a woman because NO woman would inflict the cruelty of a woman’s monthly cleansing on her run!”
Women can be so unkind to other women. Case solved, QED, God is female !!
Jun 05, 2008
Oh my God! I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard!
Jun 05, 2008
You are wonderful!!!!! And you just gave my whole day the one-finger push that it needed! Thank you for that!
Love it, love it, love it, I am going to laugh all day!
Jun 05, 2008
@nap warden – DO tell! what’s your crappy running story?
@baglady – ahhh, love the couch too…am headed there NOW!
@SJSFalter – I love it AND I hate it
@Tina – He/she called me after this post but I didnt answer ‘cuz i’m still giving him the silent treatment…he/she left a message : he loves me
@goodbyetoallfat – you’re probably right. only a woman would do this to another woman!
@Annie – “almost…” – good thing, wet pants at work? not very professional
@colleen – awww, you just made my day
Jun 05, 2008
this is too funny. That oor guy behind you. Whatever, you were in nature and just being natural.
Also, have you seen the title of Chelsea Handler’s new book? It’s called, “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Cheslea.” Love it!
Jun 06, 2008
Oh dear–I thought I had a crappy workout today, but that was too funny. (I took the top off my water bottle then managed to kick the entire thing over, drenching most of the stretching area, in full view of all the folks on the cardio machines. Oh, and there seemed to be no paper towels anywhere so I had to involve 2 gym employees in my attempt to clean up. But yours was definitely worse.)
Jun 06, 2008
you had a bad run so I could have a kick ass work out… Sorry!
Maybe its just me, but whenever something really awesome happens to me, I always think, something really shitty is happening to someone else. That whole ying to the yang thang.
Anyhow, thanks for the laugh!
Jun 08, 2008
[...] But the best way for me to sum it up is its as if God called in response to last week’s post and was like “cut the crap. enough of the shallow end. you passed. now go for it.” [...]
Jun 11, 2008
THAT WAS HYSTERICAL. Not that I’m laughing at your misery. I hope you’re over it by now.
Jun 12, 2008
[...] Hot ‘n’ Spicy Crab Dip (I love dips) Black Bean Burgers (the reason for my squawking) Pumpkin Pie French Toast Banana Bread [...]
Aug 05, 2008
I read similar article also named la, and it was completely different. Personally, I agree with you more, because this article makes a little bit more sense for me