Judy Blume couldn’t make this up
Are you there God? Its me, Jacqueline.
We need to talk. I thought we had an understanding? I suck it up and train, you bless me with your support and give me that ‘Umph’ when I need it. What happened today? I specifically asked you for the one-finger-push on my run this morning since my legs felt like they were being sucked into the bed by Freddy Krueger, but the push never came! And it was a cruel joke to have that man running behind me when you knew I had beans for dinner last night! I tried to let it go soft & quietly, but it only came out a big SQUAWK (and then a bunch of put-puts)! You could have at least given him the push. And I question whether you are a woman because NO woman would inflict the cruelty of a woman’s monthly cleansing on her run! Thank goodness I was wearing black pants! Dare I ask you God? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! And to top it all off because you weren’t laughing hard enough, you decided that it’d be fun to cleanse the earth as well with a big fat rain shower…on my run!!!
I’m not happy with you today. Please don’t try to talk to me because I don’t want to hear it. I know you’re busy/stressed with wars, the oil crisis, world hunger, etc, but please get your kicks from some place else next time. I am officially giving you the silent treatment as of right NOW.
Jacqueline
photo: Barnaby
You ARE stronger than you think you are, you CAN do more than you think you can!!! Make today count!
Funny AND shoutout to the great J-Blume?
Love.
MizFit
Oh my goodness Jacqueline!! You crack me UP girl! So sorry to hear about your ‘bad run’ ! LOL
Hey, at least you didn’t have to POOP in the bushes!
Picturing you sticking out tongue and giving a raspberry towards the sky….LOL
and followed by put puts.. I’M SO DONE hahahaaa
Hilarious J.. I needed that pick me up!
LOL………………Getting older does have at least one benefit………………:)
You’re adorable. Hopefully you’ll have better luck on your next run!
Jacqs darlin, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while! And honey you sure have me laughin now. In fact, I laughed so hard that I had to share this entire post with my readers! You honey, are hysterical! I loved it. I loved…it! So babycakes…here’s a high five to you for a fabulously girlie post and for makin me bust a gut! I am officially adding your pleasant site to my Juicy Blog list. You’re THAT good!
Whew…I am still laughin!
Juicy Jenn
so happy my stank ass made you all laugh
OK, you win…you had a worse run than me this morning!
I just KNEW there was a reason God made me sedentary…..the couch doesn’t give a crap….hehehehehehehehehehe
LOL this is so freaking hilarious and a blatant reminder why I hate running.
Love it! You make me crack up but with such a great relationship. Girlie, God is listening and I love how you give it up to HIm!! Keep going-hey we Are human, even though we like to be superwoman! You’re so real and I love it!
“And I question whether you are a woman because NO woman would inflict the cruelty of a woman’s monthly cleansing on her run!”
Women can be so unkind to other women. Case solved, QED, God is female !!
Oh my God! I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard!
You are wonderful!!!!! And you just gave my whole day the one-finger push that it needed! Thank you for that!
Love it, love it, love it, I am going to laugh all day!
@nap warden – DO tell! what’s your crappy running story?
@baglady – ahhh, love the couch too…am headed there NOW!
@SJSFalter – I love it AND I hate it
@Tina – He/she called me after this post but I didnt answer ‘cuz i’m still giving him the silent treatment…he/she left a message : he loves me
@goodbyetoallfat – you’re probably right. only a woman would do this to another woman!
@Annie – “almost…” – good thing, wet pants at work? not very professional
@colleen – awww, you just made my day
this is too funny. That oor guy behind you. Whatever, you were in nature and just being natural.
Also, have you seen the title of Chelsea Handler’s new book? It’s called, “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Cheslea.” Love it!
Oh dear–I thought I had a crappy workout today, but that was too funny. (I took the top off my water bottle then managed to kick the entire thing over, drenching most of the stretching area, in full view of all the folks on the cardio machines. Oh, and there seemed to be no paper towels anywhere so I had to involve 2 gym employees in my attempt to clean up. But yours was definitely worse.)
you had a bad run so I could have a kick ass work out… Sorry!
Maybe its just me, but whenever something really awesome happens to me, I always think, something really shitty is happening to someone else. That whole ying to the yang thang.
Anyhow, thanks for the laugh!
THAT WAS HYSTERICAL. Not that I’m laughing at your misery. I hope you’re over it by now.
I read similar article also named la, and it was completely different. Personally, I agree with you more, because this article makes a little bit more sense for me